From Bus 66

Watch it!
Whaddya think you’re doing?
Don’t you know that a bus just can’t fit in this lane?

Stop it!
No, I’ll never let you in,
Though your squeaking wheels are threatening
And your driving is insane!

You can signal all you want,
But I won’t let you change lanes!
Gotta horn and I can use it!
Yeah, I’ll blast your friggin’ brains!

I’ll creep up and do maneuvers,
I’ll squeeze you out at last!
Can’t you see that I’m important?
Can’t you tell I’m driving fast?

Gotta meeting at eleven,
Yes, a meeting at eleven,
All the guys are waiting for me,
And I’ve got to wow them now!

Must present them with a project,
An idea with all the answers,
I’ve got slides, charts, colored graphs,
I’ll show them when and how.

For today, I’ll be their golden boy,
The answer to their prayers.
I’ll speak of corporate earnings
And project the market shares
At eleven,
Waiting for me at eleven…

I hold their future in my hands,
I see it written on each face –
They’ll hang upon my every word,
The snap of my briefcase!

Yes, today I’m gonna wow them,
I’ve got confidence to spare ­–
With my perfectly creased tie
And my newly blackened hair…

Nothing’s gonna stop me!
As I press down on the pedal,
But my car just inches forward
To the sound of screeching metal…

Well that’s just great…

I’m in back of the bus.
Yes, I’m stuck behind the bus.
You cut in front and finally got in my way.

You stinking hunk of metal.
You were always out to get me.
You’ll make me wait – you want to see
Me pay.

Your choking fumes are in my face!
There’s no way to get by.
Your sooty bottom’s everyplace!
You blot out sun and sky!

Oh why,
Oh why today?
Why can’t you understand?
Why can’t you hear my honking horn?
I had it all precisely planned:

I’d arrive at ten thirty,
Call ahead on my cell phone.
Oh God – could it be I left a slide or two back home?

I need those slides for my presentation!
Golden boy,
The next sensation’s
Stuck behind a bus.
Just like the rest of you I’m stuck.
Can’t go forward,
Can’t go backward,
Running out of time and luck.

Adjust the rearview mirror!
Roll the windows down for air!
Can’t believe what I’m seeing –
Could that be a greying hair?

I thought I’d dyed it black!
Got a meeting at eleven –
Now I can’t go back!
Got a meeting at eleven
All the guys are waiting for me –
At eleven waiting for me –
Waiting for a man whose hair is going grey!
Got a meeting at eleven
But the world got in my way.
Got a meeting at eleven
But I won’t get there –
Not today.

--Francine Trester ©2000